Surgery incoming

We received a call from the hospital today informing us that Seiya's next surgery is scheduled for next week, October 24th. The surgery is colloquially known as "T&A", and I'm sure I'm not the first person whi got a laugh out of that. In this case "T&A" stands for Tonsilectomy and Adenoidectomy (removing the tonsils and adenoids).

For most people this procedure probably brings up images of a short, routine procedure that ends with ice cream, jello or popsicles, and if you're lucky, a combination of those. Unfortunately for Seiya, it's not that easy. It will be a much more long and complicated procedure that will involve very specific management of anesthesia and his airway. He will be intubated, and after the surgery be monitored in the ICU 24/7 until he is clear to be transferred to the general paediatrics ward where he will stay until he is clear to go home. We are expecting a week in hospital best case, and no ice cream.

Organizing this kind of thing is a small disaster. Surgery usually happens early in the morning, and we need to be there 2 hours before to register for admission. That means up at 4am, leave by 5am, hope we don't get stuck on the highway and make it there for 6am. We need to arrange help to look after our older son, and I need to arrange time off work. We will load the van with his equipment and anything we think we might need for him over the week, and begin the journey.

Once we're at the hospital we wait and wait some more. Our hands are tied of course but we will wait by his bedside. I hope anyone reading has never and will never need to see their child intubated and unconscious in a bed for hours (or in hospital at all of course). It's heartbreaking and you feel helpless. All we can do is pace and hope that the procedure was worth it. I will stay over there with him and most likely work during the days from the hospital while also juggling check ins on him and conversations with doctors, pharmacists, nurses and social workers. Mom will head back home and look after big brother who is such an absolute joy to be with too. The nice thing about them at least being together is that they can spend their time having fun rather than mom spending it alone worrying.

It's funny I guess because we tend to focus on the actual procedure itself, but these surgeries are truly full blown events from start to finish. I have no doubt Seiya would rather not go through anything at all, and it's just amazing how many people and how much time and effort are involved. You feel it the most during pre-surgery consultations when somebody says something like, "The surgery should only take an hour", but you know that translates into at least two weeks of exhaustion if you're lucky, and then you take into account the costs of parking, food, supplies, etc. and multiply that by the number of times the family and support goes through this kind of thing in a year. It  just takes a monumental amount of time, money and energy. Every time Seiya recovers from a surgery, it just boggles my mind how strong he is. As an adult to go through what he's gone through I probably would have thrown in the towel a long time ago.

And that's it really, the thing that keeps you all going is trying to reach that final goal for him. That place where you know there's nothing more you can do and there's nothing more for him to go through. You gave your child the best shot you could, and now it's their turn to take over and do/be/grow as they will for as long as they decide to be here.

Good luck on October 24th, Seiya. Let's all recover and be ready to go for Hallowe'en! Your pumpkin costume and your big brother in his PJ Masks costume are waiting!

Dad